Saturday, April 30, 2005

peer into the mind of greatness

If you are reading this you might know me. Well, you may not really "know" me - but you have spent enough time around me to know at least trivial things about me. If you have ever spent more than 5 minutes in my presence you have probably heard me say something a little odd - hopefully mildly amusing - but definitely odd.

Here's the deal... I don't try to be funny. I could care less if I am funny. The fact of the matter is - my life is a cartoon. I see life in cartoon fashion. Have you ever seen Who Framed Roger Rabbit? That is like a biography. So if I say something that amuses you it is because you like cartoons - or may have liked cartoons at some point.

I really began thinking about this after watching "Finding Neverland." What a great movie. Johnny Depp was fantastic as James Barrie - the playwrite and author of Peter Pan. He saw things in a different fashion - in his own world. That's me - but its much less mystical and serious. Like I said - I see cartoons... not Japanese anime - no, this is Looney Tunes in its most raw form. Very Wyl E. Coyote. Very Daffy Duck.

Often times I may be in a conversation with one of you - apparently intently listening. Not to bust your bubble - but I am probably watching your lips move - and making that noise that Charlie Brown's teacher would make - "Wha wha, wha wha wha."

So why do I do this? I dont have A.D.D. (never been tested) and I respect almost everyone I talk to - and most people I don't talk to. Well - see if you can follow me... I live in JustinWorld. Everything I see, do, feel, etc. is a reflection of my mind. And, like I said earlier - my mind processing things in cartoons.

So, the next time I am talking to you and agreeing or saying "uh-huh" and "yeah" to provoke your continued speaking... I am really imagining an ACME mallet whistling as it drops from the sky and flattens the top of you head.

(Insert the Luney Toons theme song here)

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Tell me something good...

"Tell me something."


"Tell me something."

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me something good."

"I don't have anything..."

Is this more than the transcripts from the last conversation I had with my wife? Okay, let's just say that it is 9:22p and she is normally knocked out - comatose - asleep. At this point, even an "I don't have anything..." is more than I was hoping for.

I don't claim to be prophetic - but yesterday I had a conversation with my sister in law around 5:30pm about the Mavs. She was a little dissapointed that I had picked against one of the hottest teams in the league - her team - the Mavs. I told her this - Dallas is hot. They have been one of the hottest teams in the last 18 games of the regular season (18-2 since Avery Johnson took over). However - playoff basketball defines a career. Playoff basketball can elevate certain players. As of Saturday, 04/23, Dirk had yet to push the up button for that elevator. Yao is not a dominant player. He is a soft egg-roll, like one you may have soaked in too much soy sauce. But, the guy is 7'6 - sooner or later he is going to find his way to the basket. He certainly did last night - putting up 17 in the first quarter and 33 for the game. Again - I dont claim to be prophetic - just right.

That being said - I want to introduce you to my new list. This Yao/Dirk/T-Mac/Playoff talk has had me thinking about the best players in the game right now. Who are they? Who are the top ten best NBA'ers in the game as of 04/26/05?

10. Dwayne Wade
9. Jason Kidd
8. Amare Stoudamire
7. Vince Carter
6. Tracy McGrady
5. Shaq
4. LeBron James
3. Kevin Garnett
2. Tim Duncan
1. Allen Iverson

I hate to not have Paul Pierce on this list - mainly because of my man-crush on him. But, alas, I will survive. By the way, watching Pierce put up 17 in the 3rd quarter last night and then the C's not hold the lead really bit me - you have to be a closer come April and post-season time. If you aren't you will find yourself with LeBron wearing Birkenstocks and playing golf (just ask Dirk - he just made a reservation at Pebble Beach for next weekend).

Incase any of you care - Clinton Pickens is going to be performing at the Addison Improv in May. You can check out his schedule and all that crap at Clinton is a funny (an odd smelling) guy that I have done some writing with. If you ever meet him I only ask that you akwardly mention his love for leopards and his gummy-bear that he named Blake Hamilton.

If you havn't watched The Office on NBC you need to... check out the employee spotlight of Dwight Schrute:

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Our first attempt at this..

We are officially tech-no-dorks. I have heard that BLOGS are supposed to be like journals for people at Star Wars conventions... kind of an arena for someone to say something to anyone who might listen. So Joanna and I are strapping on our storm trooper helmets and blasters and entering into a wide world of dorkdom... err -blogdom.

The NBA playoffs got underway yesterday. My, what a fine 8 weeks we have in front of us. I think that the change to a seven game series in the first round was an attempt by the powers that be to allow the higher seed to advance. Do you remember when the Nuggets beat the Sonics in the 94-95 season? That easily opened the door for Hakeem the Dream to take the Rockets to the Championship. That Sonics team was sick... Payton, Kemp, Detlef, big Sam Perkins. The higher team should always advance - that is why they are the higher seed. I like that. The league should put as many measures in place to see its higher seeds advance. Yeah, Vince Carter and the NJ Nets are a nice story - squeaking in the playoffs on the last day of regular season play, but are the playoffs anything special this year without the Shaq lead Heat?

That being said, here are my picks for the NBA playoffs - Round 1

Phoenix over Memphis (4-1)
San Antonio over Denver (4-3)
Houston over Dallas (4-3)
Sacramento over Seattle (4-2)

Miami over NJ (4-0)
Detroit over Phily (4-0)
Boston over Indiana (4-1)
Chicago over Washington (4-3)

Joanna has nothing to add... she is a little engulfed in Desperate Houswives.

Does the new Pope remind us of anyone? (Cue the Imperial March)

And, if you are a fan of Herpes, Michael Vick, or both - get yourself some sweet skills and t-shirt to match at

Alright - gotta go feed Tina. Later.

McCords - Out.