How do you know when an action is too soon?
For instance—a wounded and dumped soul getting back into the dating game—how soon?
Or a joke about a controversial topic? Anna Nicole, anyone?
It goes beyond that. This was the dilemma surrounding Flight 93, the movie about September 11th.
I believe that we don’t know how soon is too soon.
And today I face that challenge.
My mind is wrecked. My spirit disheveled. My stomach is swirling in a pool of acidic angst (or maybe its coffee) as I ponder a decision I made today:
Fraternity Cuff links.
They are really nice. And, frankly, pretty classy.
But I haven’t worn them… once… until today.
I’ve been scared.
I’m afraid its too soon… too soon since I have been involved in Fraternity.
I am at a point in my life where I don’t know what to think about my past involvement in fraternal matters.
I loved it. I lived it—breathed it—I took in as much as I could from my time in a fraternity at college. Yes, that meant things like parties, and wearing silly t-shirts with greek letters, and plenty of dances, and paying dues, and paying for the dances, and paying for the t-shirts.
And, yes, where I come from it almost meant nights of a gym filled with 80 guys practicing choreography, only to slap on costumes and heavy make-up to sing and dance competitively. Not gay. I promise.
But it also meant meeting some of the most incredible people and entertaining some scenarios/events that have shaped who I am. Fraternity, along with many other factors, have formed me.
So don’t read this and think I don’t think fondly of my time with Fraternity… because I do.
This May will mark my 4th anniversary of my emergence from the bowels of Baylor as an undergraduate, at which point I began to distance from Fraternity.
I was even at the ol’ BU for another year—but kept Fraternity at more than an arm’s reach.
I didn’t, and still don’t, want to be one of those guys that ‘can’t let it go.’ Instead, I acted as if I turned the page. Ended the chapter. Moved on.
But I contend that there is a point in which is it appropriate, even classy, to look back at those old chapters. Maybe embrace them. Maybe even support them with apparel/accessories.
Am I at that point? I don’t know.
Part of me thinks that you have to be gray-headed. Part of me thinks it depends on how successful you are at distancing.
I, for example, am probably the best Distancer I know.
Want examples? I cringe at the site of Ninfa’s. I won’t come near Roxy Grove. I only talk to a few people that shared Fraternity with me—and I tend to avoid being in the same public venue as those I don’t talk to (I have, on occasion, walked the long way around a restaurant to avoid people).
But I wore the cufflinks today.
It feels a little unnatural, like I’m in 8th grade on the same couch as a friend who’s making out with some chick. But, like watching a friend make-out, part of me accepts it, and coyly I crack a knowing smile.