Joanna & I went back to Waco for Homecoming this past weekend. This is my second year as an alumni and I can say that college life continues without me. Before I start slow piano music and begin to open up about how old I felt - let me give you a quick review.
I have a new invention. I call it ConVo. It is sorta like TiVo but revolutionary. I think it could honestly change the way intelligent people approach life.
ConVo is a way to see life in on-demand. ConVo is a way to enjoy certain parts of your day and eliminate useless conversation at akward social events like Baylor Homecoming.
I probably made contact with 250 people over the course of two days in Waco. I saw people I hadn't seen since I was a freshman in 1999. I saw people I tried to avoid while at Baylor. I saw people who I thought I would make an attempt to keep up with - and didn't.
I don't think its a stretch to assume that of the 250 people I made contact with over the weekend - I cared to see less than 10%. I think it was probably around 15 - and that is high balling.
So what's with ConVo - how would it help me?
TiVo allows you to control your telelife by recording television programs you enjoy and watching them at your convenience. This means you can stop, pause or fast forward a program. You can rewind. You can speed through commercials.
By digitally recording the Texas-OU game I was able to watch the game - in its entireity - in about 50 minutes.
Imagine the ease of TiVo applied to life's most punitive social situations... that's ConVo!
I'll give you an example. I was at the Pigksin Revue on Friday night (sidenote - Pigskin is a broadway like show containing 8 fraternities and sororities performing in costumes - not comletely homosexual I promise) when a guy I knew from my undergraduate days made eye contact with me. He lit up with enthusiasm and began to skip in my direction.
Already his fake-dom had beaten me into submission and I hadn't broken a sweat. He approached and gave me a man-hug (back patting included). He then began to ask the usual questions: "Where are you? What are you doing? Hows married life?"
With each penetrating question I sunk lower and lower until my convexed spine was wimpering in pain. First - I am in Dallas. If I wanted you to know I would have made contact with you two years ago and let you know. Second - dont obligitorily ask me what my job is - I dont care for you to know anymore than you earnestly care to. Third - you can see my wife is sitting next to me so obviously we are not divorced and she is still living. What do you think my answer is going to be? Marriage blows? Come on - guy - get a clue!
Now, with ConVo, I could have fast forwarded through all of that nonsense and not had to cause myself acne over it. Thank you sir - you cause blemishes.
ConVo is still in development phases. We anticipate having a prototype in the second quarter of 2006, so keep you eyes open.
**Disclaimer regarding BU Homecoming 2005 Review**
If you saw me this weekend and are reading this now and think - hey, I wonder if he is talking about the conversation we had... do you think he would have like to FF through our special time of reconnecting?
Some things we were not meant to know. Other things are highly likely. I'm joking. But not really.